Spoiler: It’s not what you think.
I did it! I completed all 30 days of Betty Rocker’s free 30-day Bodyweight Challenge. Sure, it took me more like 40 days. It’s not always easy to get to the mat and summon the energy to move and sweat. And I already told you how I feel about exercise.
Wanna know what my results are?
If you’re anything like me, at some point in your life you’ve embarked on a self-improvement plan and turned to Google as if it’s a Magic 8-Ball, seeking a vision what you hope the future may hold for you.
Wait, is that just me? No. It can’t be. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many before & after blog posts out there.
But anyway. I have some exciting results to share. Ready? Here goes: I feel vibrant, energized, and strong. I can feel my winter-soft muscles waking up, all over my body. I’m ready to go at it! I want more. I feel good in my body— just the way it is, right now.
That, my friends, is priceless. That is all I need now. Finally.
Wait. Were you looking for those ‘results’ that I used to look for? The ones that deliver hope measured in pounds and inches lost? I’m sorry (not sorry) to disappoint you.
I have absolutely no idea if I lost any weight. I broke up with my scale over a year ago, and that was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
It was totally an abusive relationship.
When the scale was ‘nice’ to me, I’d celebrate with an extra brownie (or a beer), but when it was a ‘bad’ interaction, my entire day could be ruined. By some stupid f*@&!^# numbers on a scale. I am no longer ashamed to admit that. It happened. It hurt.
For a long time, I was both caught in a cycle of body-hate and attempts to change myself and simultaneously mortified to admit that I cared that much about how I look. Because every day we are told we need to look smokin’ hot without trying too hard or caring too much.
I’ve spent a lot of energy in the past year trying to find my way past all of this, all of my body drama. To move past intellectual understanding to embodying.
And I’m getting there, folks!
There’s no final destination, and progress is slow. But it’s so, so sweet.
And so I don’t know if I lost any inches either. And my pants? Well, they were getting a little tight by the end of winter, so perhaps they fit better now? I’m not really sure.
And I do still care about that. A little. But not as much as I used to. And it’s not what gets me to the mat each morning. So there’s that.
I made a decision that I would measure the success of this 30-day challenge in ways that can’t be seen from the outside.
And I did it. And I have. And it’s awesome.